The concepts of the ‘Anoni’ and ‘Sociali’, deal with the notion of the ‘self’, in relation to others. That is, we need to understand and develop our relationship with ourselves, as well as our relationships with others and the wider world, constantly.
Each of us has a sense of separateness, that part which, no matter how many friends we have, is always alone. In DENT, we call this Anoni. The Anoni can be contrasted with the Sociali, which is the expectations placed on the individual to healthily fit, in their various communities.
This separateness is an uncertain, ambiguous, indescribable quality. I know it, but I cannot name, describe or communicate it precisely, and attempting to do so, using words that are socially constructed and understood, causes considerable frustration. Those words are imperfect and will be interpreted by others differently.
I have an observing self which can stand back and comment on how I feel and think about myself in a way that others might understand, but I can never quite get to the precise Anoni.
To avoid the deep frustration of being unable to describe the Anoni, the human must become purposeful and act effectively with the Sociali. Freedom from the Anoni-Sociali tension comes best when a peer can construct a healthy story which aligns the Inter-View; Self-View; and Life-View
Even so, there is an inevitable inseparability of Experience and Narrative (how we describe it). It is important to understand that language is not separate from our experience, there is never a straightforward description of any experience. Language always ‘does’ something to the expression of Anoni.
The words we choose and the thoughts we have about experience, construct an interpretation of that experience, that may change over time.
The trap of Anoni, is the notion that there might be a fixed self that we can find and ‘know’ ourselves. As popular as the ‘finding myself’ journey has become, it is most likely to result in a forever seeking mentality, and ever greater feelings of frustration when we are unable to find it and pin it down. Why? Because the world is dynamic and, as everything and everyone around us changes, so do we. At times this is imperceptible and indescribable.
The Anoni and Sociali are therefore inseparable, and feed back into each other as a loop, constantly updating and developing, based on the feedback into the system and the degree of purposefulness adopted.
This suggests we perform our lives as a ‘lived autobiography’, and, this is where our ability to tell a healthy and helpful story about our lives, following the DENT© model, is vital to the way in which we will continue to experience life.
Rather than an essence that must be found, negotiating the space between Anoni and Sociali, represents a continually unfolding and developing self. A flexible self enables us to be Adept in life.
If you would like to read the full academic paper about the Anoni and Sociali, please visit researchgate, by pressing the button below:
